Jane Williams - The Wombling World of Madness

We live in a society and ecconomy that is focused on growth, but what happens when we outgrow the world? What would a sustainable society be like?
It's easy to say that we should be happy with what we've got and stop gowing but what does this mean in reality. It's fine for those of us with a nice house, car etc. with a decent job and enough money to put food on the table and go out when we want to. However, for the jobless parents living of benefits in a run down house or flat, hoping their child's feet won't grow too much this year because they don't know where the money for new shoes will come from, it's a bit harder to be happy with what you've got. No growth means no new jobs being created. This means their and their children's chances of finding employment and escaping poverty have got a lot lower.
In the short term we can deal with needing housing for everyone by building on brownfield sites, but what about in the longer term, do we build on greenfield sites? One alternative would be to stop building, but as housing stock becomes more limited, prices would go up, further impacting on the poor and people would be forced to live in more cramped conditions. Also, many builders would go out of work, further increasing the unemployment figures.
We could try and limit population growth, but how do you do that. China tried it with the one child policy, but I don't think anyone would want to go down that route.
Another issue a sustainable society would need to address would be pollution. One of the biggest causes of pollution is livestock farming. So, the government could tax meat, so that it becomes too expensive for most people to afford. However, if we start to ger rid of livestock farming then will pigs and sheep become extinct? After all, there is no reason to farm them if you can't sell them and I ma not sure how easy they would find it to survive as wild animals. Cattle and chickens might survive longer if we still want milk and eggs. What about the farmers, they won't all be ble to convert thier farms to growing arable crops, the welsh hills and yorkshire moors aren't really crop growing coutry, so will they be joining the mass ranks of the unemployed?
On that analysis a sustainable future isn't looking too good. The archdeacon thinks we are in the end times, so maybe we should hope that he is right and it won't matter!

Okay, I Know I have used exagerated points in what I've written but what I am trying to say is that yes we are potentialy facing a crisis, one day we will run out of space and resources if our population numbers keep growing, but just to stop growth isn't really an answer. There is no easy answer, we could cut pollution by reducing the number of cars, but that then has a real knock on effect as people in all aspects of the motor industry, those that design, build, sell and repair cars lose thier jobs.
So, what we need is sustainable growth, that protects the planet and allows people to grow and flourish. Anyone got any ideas on how we do that?

Current Mood: thoughtful

Well, this week I took the first tentative steps back into exploring whether I still feel I have a calling to ordained ministry after being rejected last time round. Looking through some files on the computer this evening I found this piece that I wrote back in 2006, however, having read through it I think I still agree with what I wrote then so thought I would stick it up here:

What is Priesthood?

The first question to ask is what is a priest? One answer to this could be the person who wears the strangest clothes and stands up at the front of church on a Sunday morning. The priest is the obvious leader of the church. However, priesthood can be seen as containing two opposing dimensions, leadership and serventhood. In this the priest is following Christ who was also both leader and servant. This dual nature is shown most clearly in the Maundy Thursday liturgy where the priest kneels and washes the feet of those that he both leads and serves.

According to the pastoral epistles there are several qualifications needed to be minister of the church. Firstly to be above reproach, the minister is often the public face of the church. If the minister has a personal life that does not live up to expectation these days they often find themselves and their family attacked in the local or national press. Secondly, the pastorals stress the importance of having a well brought up family. This may not be as relevant today, indeed the rebel vicars daughter has almost become something of a stereotype. It is true that a leader of the church should set a good example in family life. The pastorals also believed that only married people could become ministers. Today society is a lot more individualistic and a minister no longer needs to be the perfect father and family man that the pastorals suggest. These days it is not a sign of bad parenting if a child does not follow the faith of it's parents. The final point in the pastoral epistles is that the minister can not be a new convert. This was to ensure that they would teach correct doctrine. However, a priest is still expected to live a life that is an example to his congregation and wider society.

This role had been passed down through the generations of the church from bishop to priest and in that process altered and refined. The dual nature is still recognized as the bishop states that”priests are called to be servants and shepherds”. The ordination service also makes the point that to be a priest is not just about what you do but is also about what you are formed into being. Being as priest is not just about the practical and public jobs that the priest does such as leading worship, performing rites of passage ceremonies and organizing the local church. Ordinands are asked to keep on studying in order to deepen their own faith and to enable them to preach a faithful message.

The ordinands are asked a series of questions about what they will commit to doing it. At first this list seems impossible to keep. However, the ordinand does not answer I will do this but, “by the help of God I will”.

A part of the priests role is to guide and help people in their own journeys with God. The priest does not act as channel between the people and God, rather they are a facilitator and guide. There is no single right approach to God, each person needs to find what works for them. The priest can offer advice, help and support. Most importantly they can listen. Listening is a key skill for a priest. The local priest is a figure that people will trust and confide in. A priest is only a human person and sometimes the only thing they can offer is time to listen. This listening doesn't have to take place in church or in the vicar's study. This may be one area where non-stipendiary clergy can have an advantage. If they are working alongside and with local people then those people who would not usually go near the church or vicarage may well turn to the priest in their midst when in need of someone to talk to. In my current job it is often the carer that is there the whole time that people will talk to rather than the nurses and other professionals that pop in and out. Ordination would enable me to add a new angle and to build on work that I already do.

So, what does all this mean? To be called to serve God is at one level deeply terrifying and makes me want to run away screaming. That is why it is important to be grounded in prayer and to remember that it is not me alone that has to do this but God with me that will do it. To be called to serve the God that I love and adore in his holy priesthood as well as filling me with terror also fills me with an almost inexpressible joy. To my mind there can be no greater privilege than to reach out to people with God's love and care for them, no matter who they are or where they may be on their life's journey.

Being a priest does not just mean dressing up in strange clothes on a Sunday morning. It means walking alongside people in all aspects of their lives. In non-stipendiary ministry this can mean being alongside people in their workplace and in their community. To be a priest is to be the visible sign of God's love, care and concern for all within the community. To be called on by God to be this sign is a privilege which is both immensely terrifying and immensely joyful and exciting.

Have just had two weeks skiing in Kitzbuehel. Weather at the start of the trip was cold, cloudy and snowing at times! The last day we were skiing in temperatures of over 10 degrees on top of the mountian and getting sunburnt!
Enjoyed a day skiing with the ski club rep and several nights out with both the ski club reps that were there whilst we were there.
One day we set ourselves the challenage of skiing from Kitzbuehel to the Kandleralm restraunt in Westendorf before they stopped serving breakfast at 11o'clock. This involved seven lifts, seven pistes and one bus connection and we made it by half past ten and enjoyed a good breakfast.

Current Location: Kitzbuehel, Tirol

So,Christmas day is over for another year. This year I do really feel that over this Christmas heaven has reached down and touched earth, thanks to the fantastic singing of the Cathedral choir, if they had a sing of with the angels I am not sure who would win! The cathedral does do well at doing the big services with fantastic singing and lighting effects to really create an atmosphere that does make you feel that just for a short time you have been taken out of this world.
I was also serving for midnight mass at a small parish church, the choir consisted of about three people, there was not the precision of the Cathedral, it was at times chaotic and messy. However, I think the first Christmas was also rather chaotic and messy, the people there were a mixed bunch, and I assume also with varieties of motivation for been there. Although we tend to think of the stable as having the shepherds and wise men, who were all there because they had been called by stars and angels, I suspect the bible doesn't mention the various drunks and other people who just happened to be staying at the Inn that night who wandered out to see what all the fuss was or complain about the noise. Yet that first Christmas God took the messy human lives that were there with their mixed motivations and gave them something amazing. In the same way he can take our worship, however disorganised, chaotic and messy it may seem and make it into something wonderful that can reach out to people.
So the Cathedral provided the chance for heaven to come down to earth and the parish church provides the earth reaching up to heaven and somehow God in giving his most precious gift can reach out and touch and shed some light into our messy and chaotic lives.

One day two intrepid travellers set of to a far distant city, to celebrate a special feast. They left home early in the morning before the sun had started to light the sky. In the dark they made their way along paths and carefully worked their way round paths that had been dug up and made it safely to the train station. Once there they waited on the platform for a great machine to arrive with lights blazing. They boarded this machine which whisked them away down rails and through the darkness. The journey was still going to plan as they alighted at the next station and switched to a different machine that ran on rails through the sky to the airport.
Once at the airport their magic cards were swiped and they were issued with papers to ensure their onward journey. Now the two intrepid travellers, once they had been assessed as posing no security threat, were allowed to rest and recharge their fuel supplies with some cups of hot caffeine. As the sun began to rise above the horizon the intrepid duo boarded a metal tube that began to swoop them through the sky. However, as they approached the city of Zurich, nestled near some mountains, the weather began to turn for the worst. As they approached the airport the plane was so badly buffeted by winds that the pilot pulled out of his first attempt at landing and the plane rose again into the air to circle round and come back to attempt landing for a second time. This time, although sill very bumpy due to the strong turbulence, landing was achieved, if somewhat later than planned.
Now the intrepid duo, headed with sinking hearts into the new airport, all around boards carried red lines warning of cancelled flights. They joined a queue and waited and waited...after at least an hour of waiting, in which they had been given water, bread and cheese they finally reached the front of the queue. Here they were given the option of staying in Zurich for the night and hoping they would be able to resume their journey in the morning. However, they were keen to move on towards their destination so opted instead to travel onwards by different means. The airline man gave them new papers which they then had to take to a different office. There they were again given options, wait for several hours for a machine that would transport them directly to the blessed city of their destination, or leave immediately, and get there sooner, but have to change a few times. Wanting to reach their destination as quickly as possible they took the second option and boarded the train to Romanshorn. The train whisked them through a Swiss countryside shrouded in cloud as rain beat against the window of their top deck seats. Arriving at Romanshorn they made their way through the rain from the train lines to the lakeside harbour. Here they boarded the boat and set out into the storm to cross the lake. As the winds grew stronger the boat tilted at increasing steepness from side to side, the sounds of dishes smashing came from the kitchen. As a lamp fell crashing to the floor the intrepid duo, proving themselves to be from a seafaring nation took nourishment in hot chocolate, sausage and bread. The effects of the storm meant that the boat was late entering the harbour at Fredrichshafen on the other side of the lake. Quickly leaving the boat the travellers found the local station, knowing the trains they were supposed to be on would already have left. After a short wait they had a short ride from the harbour to the main train station. Here they found information that told them there was a train to Ulm in about half an hour. They sought shelter from the storm in the station waiting room and comforted themselves with cake. As the time for the train drew near they headed out to the freezing windswept platform and waited for the train, and waited as the train became increasingly delayed. Finally they managed to board a train heading for Ulm and roared off into the night. However about half an hour from Ulm their carriage shuddered to a halt and a voice announced that the storm had caused the rails to be blocked and their carriage would go no further that night. The travellers climbed from the carriage and made their way to the front of the small station, here they were crammed onto motorised coaches. Unable to get seats the intrepid duo had to stand as they into the dark down the German roads. The coaches came to a stop outside Ulm station and the weary travellers headed into the station to search the information boards for a train to Munich. After just missing an ICE (German train), they had to enter enemy territory and board a French TGV to Munich. They survived the journey on the French train and arrived in the blessed city of Munich, somewhat later then planned at the tenth hour of the night.

As we approach the season of Advent, I have been thinking about waiting, or to be more precise the way we seem to have lost the skill of waiting. I can remember as a child always be told to save up until you had the cash to buy what you want. These days people seem to want it all instantly and are bombarded by adverts on TV telling them they can have it. However, these adverts aren't as nice as they seem. Yes at bright house you can get a fantastic TV for £12.99 per week and get it straight away, but the end price is over £2,000. If you saved £12.99 into a bank account for 17 months (less than a year and a half) you can go to a shop and buy the same TV for under £850. You could also buy a TV by borrowing money at an astronomical interest rate, which like the weekly payment stores end up costing you far more in the long run.
This need to have everything now is partly to blame for the current financial problems. So, why are people so desperate to have everything now? As a child, although it was frustrating, part of the excitement of getting something new was the waiting. We seem to have become consumed by the need for instant gratification, and have lost the joy that comes at the end of waiting. Maybe as we move towards Advent this year we need to re discover the skill of waiting and learn to live with what we have until we can afford something better. In the end it will cost us less.

Have just watched this very good documentary on BBC iplayer. One of the first things I noticed was how bad some of the kid's speech was. It seemed to me to be far worse than mine has ever been, of course my perception of my own speech may not be how other people perceive it. It might also be that the years of speech therapy have had an effect and I just don't remember it having been a lot worse when I was younger.
A lot of the techniques used were very familiar to me. Slow speech, soft contacts etc. The issue I always had was that yes if I speak very slowly I don't stammer but I still sound like a moron because I am speaking so slowly! Having said that I still do on bad days make a conscious effort to speak more slowly. I sometimes feel like I am trying to speak too fast for my speech muscles to keep up so slowing down a bit definitely helps. I think it's just a case of getting the right balance. I also remember having to go out and ask strangers questions and thought how odd I must look asking people the time when I clearly had a wristwatch on.
One of the children was quite a perfectionist and one of the things I can remember having to do was watch something on TV and count the number of times someone stammered or said errmmm etc. The point was to prove to us that no one has completely fluent speech 100% of the time and therefore that wasn't what we should be aiming at.
I found the fact that parents were involved, and had their own course running parallel to the one their kids were on, interesting. I can't remember my parents ever having been involved in anything like that. I also found it quite moving listening to the comments of some of the parents and it made me start to think about how my parents must have felt about me stammering, not something that I have really thought about before or discussed with them. Maybe something for the future there.
I had to smile when the speech therapist told one parent they had to let their child take control of managing their own speech. I remember getting so frustrated when trying to tell Mum something and she kept telling me to slow down, all I wanted at the time was to say what I wanted to say and not bother with all the thinking about slowing down and using soft contacts and breathing right, thinking about that would make me forget what I was trying to say!

I have decided to start to try and post a bit more on here. This post is something which has been going round in my brain for a while and I am still not sure what the answer should be.
I know which of the 10 commandments I break the most often is - that one about not coveting your neighbours ox, not that I have any neighbours with an ox to covert, but I do find myself looking at what other people have and thinking I want it, also if an advert tells me I want something, I want it. I must be an advertisers dream! Yet, when I sit back and try to look at it rationally I can see that whilst some things might be nice to have I certainly don't need them and I have things that other people don't have, like lots of trips away. In some ways I feel that society is telling people we have to have the latest gadget etc in order to be successful and to be seen as good. It seems to me that goods are linked with status in our society, in some ways more than values. I think this may have been a factor in the riots we saw this summer. People wanted the things that they thought would give them status.
I have been reading a couple of books recently, one by a Jesuit and one by a Benedictine, which both speak of the need to live simply and to not clutter up our lives with things we don't need. However, what would happen if we all started to live like this? No one goes out and buys themselves a new dress or shoes as a treat, no one takes advantage of the special offer price to buy the new phone they would like but don't need. Shop sales fall, shops close, more people are out of work and the economic crisis we are currently in gets worse. A key fact in our economic system seems to be that people should want more, if people buy more that creates more jobs in both retail and manufacturing, then people have more money and can spend more on more goods. It sounds like a nice simple economic theory that should work. The problem, I think, comes when people want more than they can afford, and get offered credit to buy it, usually at high interest rates. Advertisers have to sell so give out the message you need to have the latest thing now, rather than what I was taught as a child, that you save up till you've got enough cash to get what you want.
So, is it possible to balance the needs of the economy to keep selling goods and services, with the concept of a live lived without feeling the need for the latest thing and where people start to live according to what they can afford and not the limit on their credit card?

Current Mood: thoughtful

These questions have in part been brought up by a friend recently losing their much loved pet dog. Now, I am firmly convinced that dogs will be in heaven, otherwise it can't be paradise, but what other animals might be in heaven and if animals that have a soul go to heaven then how do we decide which animals have a soul?
One measure could be self awareness, but officially that would exclude dogs, but include elephants and dolphins.
This leads me on to the question of what is a soul? and how do we know that a creature of any sort has a soul? Is there any instance where a human being may not have a soul? IS the concept of a soul linked to an awareness of who and what you are, and if a persons ability to know who and what they are is impaired by disease what effect does that have on their soul? From my own experience in care work, I'ed say that people still have a soul even if their mental capacity is severely damaged.
So, if the soul is not just about self awareness and knowing who and what you are what is it? We sometimes speak of the soul as if it is a part of a person's temperament, a creative soul, or a musical soul, so does the soul define our temperament?

Answers on a postcard please or by hitting the comment button below.

Current Mood: thoughtful

Readings: Nehemiah 2
John 8:31-38, 48-end

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

I want to start this evening by filling in a bit of background to our first reading. Nehemiah lived around 450BC. His family came from Judea, but he is in service to the King of Persia who also rules over Judea at this time. When his brother visits Nehemiah hears about the poor state his ancestral home city of Jerusalem has been left in with the ancient city walls falling down. He feels he should do something and prays to God and spends lots of time thinking about it. Eventually, as we heard in todays reading the King notices that his cupbearer has been somewhat preoccupied recently and asks him what’s wrong? Nehemiah tells him and the King gives him permission to go to Jerusalem and oversee the rebuilding of the walls. So, as we heard in the reading Nehemiah sets off on his mission, however, when he arrives at Jerusalem, he finds that not everyone shares his vision of the great rebuilt city. Sanballat, Tobiah and Gesehm lead a protest against Nehemiah’s work. The leaders of the argument against Nehemiah were Samaritan, which may explain why in our reading from John’s gospel the idea of Jesus having a demon seems to be linked with the fact that the Jews for some reason seem to think he is a Samaritan.
Jesus and Nehemiah were similar in some ways. They both had a vision for the future and encouraged people to help them achieve it. They also both faced opposition from those that didn’t agree with their vision or didn’t want to change, who were happy to keep going as they were.
Nehemiah went on not only to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem but to change many other things as well, bringing moral and religious reforms. Jesus too had a long term effect changing many things. As a community here we are facing a period of change and we have a choice over how we deal with that. With the interregnum we have the chance to develop a vision of how we see ourselves as a church and what we want our mission to be in this area of Coventry. However, for that vision to be realised and that mission to bear fruit we need to all share in it. Nehemiah got his wall built despite the problems because he encouraged people to work as a team each doing different jobs. We need to learn from this and work as a team. We all need to share the vision and not be like the Samaritans standing by and criticising the vision and efforts of others.
Having said that, we have to face the fact that we are only human, and that we will disagree about what we should do and how we should do it. In both the readings Jesus and Nehemiah have to deal with people criticising their approach. When we are working hard on something we really believe in, it can be hard to hear criticism from others, especially if we think those others don’t really understand our vision, or don’t care about this particular project as much as we do. The temptation is to start having a go back. However, if we do this we run the risk that we create division amongst ourselves, we lose sight of what we should be aiming for and become more concerned with proving so and so wrong or getting back at them for the comment they made. When this happens there is a risk that other people involved will simply get fed up of all the bickering and infighting and decide to spend their time, talents and money elsewhere. No one will achieve anything and we will be left with ruins.
Nehemiah deals with this issue by persuading people to follow him, when some people still disagree, he points out that he is following the will of God.
Now this leads us to the question of how do we know the will of God? As I said earlier we as a community are facing a time of change and in finding a way forward we should be seeking what God wants, not what we want. As many biblical characters have found, doing what God wants isn’t always an easy thing. It may mean we have to let go of certain ideas that are important to us. When trying to decide things we need to ask the question “why do we feel this is important?” is it because what we are doing is bringing a little bit of God’s glory into the world for people to see, or because it makes us feel better, or the church up the road is doing this and getting more people so we should do it to.
One way, and perhaps the most important way, of moulding our hearts and mind to put what is important to God first is through prayer. Prayer can be a tricky thing at times. We come together on Sunday to pray, but prayer should be a daily not a weekly thing. Note that I say should, because all though I may have lots of good intentions about finding time each day for prayer at home, a lot of the time that is all it is, good intentions and I never quite find the time to get round to doing it. I have a shelf full of books on prayer, each one bought with the hope that it will provide the magic door to a fantastic prayer life, none has yet.
Even when we do find time to pray, sometimes it can just feel as if we are repeating meaningless words, prayer is supposed to be about talking and listening to God, yet sometimes it feels as if you are taking into empty space. It took several months for Nehemiah’s prayers to get answered and maybe he felt like that at times. It is all too easy for us to give up, think it must be something we are doing wrong, but even the great saints and mystics had times like this. In front of one of my prayer books at home I wrote the following quote from Julian of Norwich, to remind me that God does listen even when it doesn’t seem like it:
“God says pray earnestly even though you think it does not reward you experientially, for it is profitable if you do not experience it or see anything, or even if you believe that you cannot achieve anything. For in dryness and barrenness, in sickness and in feebleness are your prayers pleasing to me even though you think you yourself receive little experiential reward.”
So, prayer, even when it feels like it is going nowhere, is important in making sure we have a good relationship with God and that we are listening when He tries to point us in the right direction, as Nehemiah found he will answer in time.
The next few months may prove to be a tough time for us as a congregation as we try to determine what our future will be. Like Nehemiah we have to have a clear vision of what we want to be, we have to work together and not waste our time and energy on petty disagreements among ourselves, and above all we have to be a people of prayer and trust that God will give us what we need to achieve his vision for us.

Amen.